“Please Baby Don’t…”
NY Single Relationships
It has been two years that I’ve been living on and off in New York. For one reason or another I happened to be welcomed in many of the different networks, tribes, benefit societies, associations, lounges, clubs, social circles where I couldn’t officially compromise as I still don’t know who am I in New York or, if I really belong to any tribe or ever will.
The thing is that I am having an amazing time… I have indigestion of talks about my roommate, my network, my blind date, or “how do you like the city”?
The debates in the Internet, radio, groups gatherings are about freedom of speech, flirt, identity, sex, faith, style, of nothing, of everything, you name it.
Ads in the Internet networks are like: “I need a place to crash in NY from next Monday to Wed” and the problem is that there are too many places to chose from, a serious issue itself. The same happens with people and relationships. New Yorkers have it all, and if they still don’t, they eventually will in the shortest period of time; anyway, that’s why they’re all here. Relationships therefore are about being together with an agenda. According to the last census survey, 72% of Manhattan population are single and according to a recent article in The New York Magazine only one-third wants to establish a stable relationship. They panic before intimacy because a compromise will require time and money, and time and money are necessary for those who need to accomplish whatever their plan is. It is the same land of opportunities that offers more dating websites and companies than any other city in the globe.
Reality shows on TV will share with you TRUE relationship stories, and sometimes it is possible to feel confused between the one relationship you are in and the one on TV! The generation of “Friends” and ”Sex In The City” has given birth to prototyped “new family” values lifestyles where your family is automatically replaced by that sweet, cute, sexy roommate that will hold you in his arms while you think that you are crying about another man that you met last week at a tantric-sex–friendly-society and never saw again after one incredible magical soul-searching for infinity of body-mind language at his place.
Weblogs about personal profiles, tastes, interests, opinion and looks express more than ever the common desire to directly aim to that customized and wished-for individual and straight to the point targeted passionate proximity encounters, I just wander sometimes…” What about the journey?” The answer to my question is that the destination seems to be more important in NY than the journey itself.If the port has been easy and fast to reach to, surely other different and interesting far away lands must exhist to be explored. Diversity, ethnicity, movement, choice, stimuli, adventure, spice, source, and one day the ship will stop at the right port…. May not be Manhattan, but it will certainly be with the right luggage of experience and wealth from the intriguing and fascinating island.
For the time being in my opinion, the wisest thing to do —while sipping a hot “Half-Caff”— is to listen to the Brazilian composer Sergio Mendes’ recommendations in the song found in his new release “Timeless” (on sale in every Starbucks ): “Please babe don’t fall in love with me….” What comes next is another story.
Related Links:
The Private Clubs: Fizz: 137 East 55th St.
New York, New York 212.755.7055
Frederick’s: http://www.fredericksnyc.com/
The Restaurants: Bette: 461 W 23rd New York, NY 10011; Le Bilboquet : 25 E 63rd St, New York 10021
The Loft Gramercy Park: http://50gramercyparknorth.com/
The Store: http://www.abercrombie.com/anf/lifestyles/html/homepage.html
The Mp3 Sergio Mendes “Babe please don’t”: http://www.mp3shits.com/full/dd/110619/
The Network: http://newyork.tribe.net/local
The songs: http://chicobuarque.uol.com.br/letras/retratoe_68.htm
Bonjour Joelle,
Allow me to give you some feedback in regards to your last blog “Please baby don’t … NY Single Relationships”
The nature of the ‘Manhattan way of life’ provides an excellent field to express the key word that is implicitely said in your blog, CURIOSITY. We have almost everything here. And perhaps this individual search for that other identity that can give us something different is part of this ‘fast arrival’ to the destination. We meet a lot of people from many cultures, with many opinions and full of many idiosyncrasies that makes it for most of us interesting to explore (another key word). And this ‘expedition’ towards the unknown is the result of a collection of new experiencies that we search in a fast way because it seems that we are missing the ‘opportunity.’ It is like we have ’so many’ places to go, ’so many’ restaurants to eat, ’so many’ events to attend than many times we have problems, as you say, with indigestion. The clear analogy with the speed of a car is very explicit. For many of us we like to drive very fast and feel the stimuli of velocity. It is brave, vibrant and exhuberant but we barely realize about the landscape. We don’t have time to look around. To see the trees, the birds or simply to contemplate beauty wherever we want to see it. We are missing a lot because the excitement of velocity is higher than the visual and emotional journey.
I agree with you, Joelle, that in New York is a matter of a collection of stops. It reminds me the beautiful mockingbird when it sucks the nectar of every exotic and juicy flower. But at the end, we need the time to cultivate a relationship not so much because we have had a fantastic click but because this click has a meaning. A meaning that progresses in time and that provides us with new excitments and challenges. The result is a strong bond and foundation with a friend or a collection of friends that has developed a special significance for one’s life. I belong to the school of Kavafis’ ‘Itaca’ way of thinking. And in spite of the strong New York flow of energy going towards the ‘fast’ direction, I still believe that there is ‘another way.’ Perhaps mine, or anybody’s that simply wishes to give a different type of sense in one’s life and move away from superficiality taking advantage of the recycable options that a New York life provides.
Don’t forget that famous sentence: “Only dead fish go with the flow”…this is part of the beauty of life !!!
Un beso
Jordi